View source for Tāli-kettu kalyānam: old Kerala custom

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This article is an excerpt from<br/>
''' Castes and Tribes of Southern India ''' <br/>
By '' Edgar Thurston, C.I.E., '' <br/>
Superintendent, Madras Government Museum; Correspondant <br/>
Étranger, Société d’Anthropologie de Paris; Socio <br/>
Corrispondante, Societa,Romana di Anthropologia <br/>
Assisted by ''K. Rangachari, M.A.,'' <br/> 
of the Madras Government Museum. <br/>

Government Press, Madras <br/> 
1909. <br/> 
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[[Category:India|T]]
[[Category:Communities|T]]

=Tāli-kettu kalyānam: old Kerala custom=

Tāli-kettu kalyānam (tāli-tying marriage).—A ceremony gone through by Nāyar girls, and girls of some other Malayālam castes, in childhood. Of those who gave evidence before the Malabar Marriage Commission, some thought the tāli-kettu was a marriage, some not. Others called it a mock marriage, a formal marriage, a sham marriage, fictitious marriage, a marriage sacrament, the preliminary part of marriage, a meaningless ceremony, an empty form, a ridiculous farce, an incongruous custom, a waste of money, and a device for becoming involved in debt. 

“While,” the Report states, “a small minority of strict conservatives still maintain that the tāli-kettu is a real marriage intended to confer on the bridegroom a right to cohabit with the bride, an immense majority describe it as a fictitious marriage, the origin of which they are at a loss to explain. And another large section tender the explanation accepted by our President (Sir T. Muttusami Aiyar), that in some way or other it is an essential caste observance preliminary to the formation of sexual relations.” 

In summing up the evidence collected by him, Mr. Lewis Moore states that it seems to be proved beyond all reasonable doubt that “from the sixteenth century at all events, and up to the early portion of the nineteenth century, the relations between the sexes in families governed by marumakkathāyam (inheritance in the female line) were of as loose a description as it is possible to imagine. 

The tāli-kettu kalyānam, brought about by the Brāhmans, brought about no improvement, and indeed, in all probability, made matters much worse by giving a quasi-religious sanction to a fictitious marriage, which bears an unpleasant resemblance to the sham marriage ceremonies performed among certain inferior castes elsewhere as a cloak for prostitution (see Dēva-dāsi). As years passed, some time about the opening of the nineteenth century, the Kērala mahatmyam and Kēralolpathi were concocted, probably by Nambūdris, and false and pernicious doctrines as to the obligations laid on the Nāyars by divine law to administer to the lust of the Nambūdris were disseminated abroad. 

The better classes among the Nāyars revolted against the degrading system thus established, and a custom sprang up, especially in North Malabar, of making sambandham a more or less formal contract, approved and sanctioned by the Karnavan (senior male) of the tarwad4 to which the lady belonged, and celebrated with elaborate ceremony under the pudamuri (female cloth cutting) form. That there was nothing analogous to the pudamuri prevalent in Malabar from A.D. 1500 to 1800 may, I think, be fairly presumed from the absence of all allusion to it in the works of the various European writers.” 

According to Act IV, Madras, 1896, sambandham means an alliance between a man and woman, by reason of which they, in accordance with the custom of the community to which they belong, or either of them belongs, cohabit or intend to cohabit as husband and wife.