AR Rahman

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Career

Early struggles and suicidal thoughts

Thought about suicide till I was 25: Rahman, November 5, 2018: The Times of India

Before the country recognised the talent of AR Rahman, the celebrated composer says there was a phase in his life where he felt like a failure and thought about ending his life almost every day. The Oscar-winning composer says the initial low phase of his career eventually helped him emerge braver.

“Up until 25, I used to think about suicide. Most of us feel they are not good enough. Because I lost my father, there was this void,” he said.

The turnaround for the 51-year-old composer came when he built his recording studio Panchathan Record Inn in his backyard in his hometown Chennai. “Because of my father’s death and the way he was working, I didn’t do many movies. I got 35 movies and I did two,” Rahman said. The composer talks about hard times and other events in his life in “Notes of a Dream: The Authorized Biography of AR Rahman”, which was launched on Saturday. It is written by author Krishna Trilok.

Rahman was nine when his father RK Shekhar, who was film-score composer, passed away and the family had to rent out his musical equipment to get by. Rahman, thus, took to music at a very young age. He shot to instant fame when he made his debut as a composer with Mani Ratnam’s “Roja”. Rahman said the most important thing for him is not to feel bored and constantly try to do something new, be it professionally or personally.